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february 6, 2024

it has now been over a week since my last blog post, and a week since school started for me. how's it going? well, it's a lot of work, but doable work. i've never been a "good" student, but i feel good about this year. i know i can turn things around. i'm actually trying to do my work and not procrastinate––i've been doing homework in little bits over the week, instead of procrastinating only to end up doing practically nothing all day instead of enjoying it like i told myself i would do instead of homework.
so how what did my week look like? well, on monday i spent a few hours (more than i usually do on homework, which is none) doing schoolwork, reading, figuring out online homework websites etc. etc. ... honestly, the rest of the week went by in a blur; i'm trying to accept and get used to the fact that the less you do in your daily life, the more forgettable those days become. it's not about getting older, it's about doing less stuff! i don't know what to do with my days since i don't physically go to school and i don't have a job (yet). maybe it's time i pick up the ole bass again, or start experimenting with traditional art.
i noticed the older i've gotten, the more afraid i am to "mess up." be it socially (i am kinda awkward irl) or in art––i'm too afraid to push my limits, and i'd rather stay in my comfort zone. maybe that's why my skills have stagnated, lol. well! maybe i'll start penning in my planner that i need to dedicate some time out of my day to making "shitty" art .
anyway, let's move on to music
lately, i've been listening to キュビノワ (qubinoix) - キュービックルーム (cubic room). it's a short and cute little gazey album, and the girl's voice vaguely reminds me of the vocalists from (sometimes) toddle and (mostly) tokenainamae (something about a young woman with a high pitched voice that walks the line between reassuring+sweet and grating––my girlfriend doesn't really like tokenainamae for that reason). my favorite track off this album has to be キミドリ, track one. and my favorite part is the way beginning when she sings the melody, before being swallowed by the guitar––which i just found out the vocalist is also the guitarist! and, she is(was? not sure) in coaltar of the deepers––and then her voice re-emerging with that same melody, the same gentleness. i've been listening to it frequently, especially while studying, even if it's not exactly study music
also, when i get high i really like to put on 超级市场 (supermarket) - 音乐会 (concert). rym describes it as trip-hop, which is a genre i really don't listen to often outside of portishead. i don't have a favorite song off this album, but it's overall a fun experience. i remember listening to this and feeling like i was in an obscure film, or something. not that that makes sense to anyone, but it does to me, teehee.
i paused my studying to blog, fuelled by an energy drink and finally motivated to update this site hehe. but i should probably get back to studying now